JERRY: Oh, you really missed something. Why don't we just call it the 'half-conscious deadbeat with no job, home all day, eating Cheetos and watching TV' recliner? The guy told me it's one of a kind, they stopped making it. SEINFELD Episode no. 1 About 2 Episodes 2.1 Season 1 2.2 Season 2 2.3 Season 3 2.4 Season 4 2.5 Season 5 2.6 Season 6 2.7 Season 7 2.8 Season 8 2.9 Season 9 Seinfeld is an American sitcom television series created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for NBC. JERRY: Wait till you see it, it's perfect. JERRY: I'm sorry about the gift, I didn't know about your condition. I mean, it goes back so far, that thing...I mean, it's like, 'Go to bed already! And no intelligent person can think differently. And I have to say...it was pretty much all my fault. JERRY: Well, you should probably ask, because if he's gonna be coming over with those Paccino's pizzas...could be trouble. I'll have to sit on it. KRAMER: Yeah, yeah. JOE'S WIFE: Hi, baby. GEORGE: Well, a lot of people keep popcorn in the house. JERRY: Yes, you haven't read a page, have you? JERRY: Right there, guys. They got a duck there, you think you died and went to heaven. JERRY: Well, what if Poppie felt the same way? GEORGE: "Breakfast At Tiffany's." GEORGE: I got a feeling I'm gonna be much smarter than you pretty soon. THE COUCH - SEINFELD Season 6 Episode 5 TV Reviews Directed by Andy Ackerman Written by Larry David. Nuts! ELAINE: Oh, let me get the door for you. Your duck is cooking as we speak. New scene - Jerry and Elaine in Jerry's apartment the next day, looking at the "Poppie-stain" on Jerry's sofa. KRAMER: It's not a pizza until it comes out of the oven! You know what the best part about it is? JOE (passes George a bowl): Here's some nuts. Anyway, he's about to leave, he wants the duck money. The Seinfeld Chronicles was written as the pilot for the show that would eventually be called Seinfeld, though earlier versions of the script would refer to the program as Stand Up and The Jerry Seinfeld Show. JERRY: Ah ha. I just checked your duck...it is more succulent than even I had hoped. How there's two nuts named after people. Hazel...and filbert. KRAMER: That was in the past, Jerry. JERRY: You got a regular 'Manhattan Project' going on over there. I would like to be, but I'm not. Okay, c'mon. Written by Larry David. JERRY: Ah ha. You know, he wants to back it. She likes Audrey Hepburn very much. This is a sick, sick joke on Poppie. POPPIE: Let me show you to your table. Seinfeld Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. As it happens, New York Magazine just judged his kitchen to be one of the cleanest in the city. JERRY: No games? GEORGE: No, I'm not. You can't put cucumbers on a pizza. GEORGE: Maybe we could call them and ask them to return it. It's just a natural human function...happens to be on my sofa, instead of in the toilet, where it would normally be. →. It is so succulent...so succulent! POPPIE: Yes, but we cannot give the people the right to choose any topping they want! And, the best part is, he doesn't play games. KRAMER: That was in the past, Jerry. JERRY: Oh no, I don't want anyone sitting on it. ELAINE (in a southern accent): Ooh, I can't wait to get me a fella and make mah own pie! ELAINE (to Jerry): What are you doing with this couch? See, this is when I like you. CLERK: Well, I could put it on reserve for you, if you'd like. JERRY: Well, Kramer told us all about your business venture together. ELAINE: Yes.0JERRY: Well, would you apologize for me? GEORGE: They wanted to read a Truman Capote book. So, on this issue there is no debate! Jerry opens the door. Could I have a word? And, the best part is, he doesn't play games. You're still recuperating. New scene - Elaine and Carl sitting in carl's moving van after a date. 90 pages. ELAINE: Well, your mother must be very proud of you. Oh no, I've been to four other places, you're the only ones that have had it. She becomes a suspect when he overdoses his medication. POPPIE: That's not a pizza. Not too high! - just lit up. It doesn't work that way. POPPIE: That's fine. Let's go, Henry. GEORGE: Well, as I say, the pink-eye made my vision...quite blurry... JOE: Remy, this is George. Pretty good date, huh? It's all in the wrist. JERRY (sarcastic): Yeah, you're right. GEORGE: They wanted to read a Truman Capote book. You know what I love? KRAMER: Well, I happened to be eating at Poppie's when I told him the "old" idea, and his eyes - waaaaaah! Guest stars: Reni Santoni (Poppie)    David James Elliott (Carl)    Robert Hooks (Joe)    Denise Dowse (Joe's wife)    Diana Theodore (Remy)    Patton Oswald (Video store clerk)    Jessica Hecht (Marie)    Mari Weiss (Woman no. POPPIE: Your friend and I are going to make a lot of money. ELAINE: Well, I can understand that. My other favorite furniture brand is the La-Z-Boy. This is Elaine. Seinfeld is a sitcom that originally ran for nine seasons on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. JERRY: Your boyfriend, he's taking it out. How there's two nuts named after people. I just checked your duck...it is more succulent than even I had hoped. Cut back to George, Joe and Remy watching the movie. I mean, Fred. Cut back to Jerry and Elaine at Poppie's. He's real, he's honest, he's unpretentious...oh, I'm really lucky! Tonight's the big night. They get sweaty. This is it! Guest stars: Reni Santoni (Poppie)    David James Elliott (Carl)    Robert Hooks (Joe)    Denise Dowse (Joe's wife)    Diana Theodore (Remy)    Patton Oswald (Video store clerk)    Jessica Hecht (Marie)    Mari Weiss (Woman no. JERRY: Your boyfriend, he's taking it out. I, uh, would have invited you up, but I don't have any furniture. GEORGE: Uh, excuse me, are you Joe Temple? ELAINE: Boy, I'm really looking forward to this duck. Watch Seinfeld - Season 8, Episode 5 - The Package: Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor -- patient relationship reputation. 1 min read, gs: Jessica Hecht (Lindsay) Lois Nettleton (Mrs. Enright) Elina L�wensohn (Katya) Maurice Godin (Misha) James Sweeney (Aronson) David Blackwood (Beck) Phil Ramsey (Man in Car) Damian London (Party Guest) Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt) George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on, gs: David James Elliott (Carl) Jessica Hecht (Marie) Reni Santoni (Poppie) David James Elliott (Carl) Robert Hooks (Joe Temple) Denise Dowse (Mother) Patton Oswalt (Clerk) Diana Theodore (Remy) Mari Weiss (Woman #1) Tamar Cooper (Woman #2) Beverly C. Brown (Woman #3) Jeris Lee Poindexter, See all 179 posts ELAINE: This is it, Jerry! So anyway, when they were in my house before, I didn't offer them anything to drink. He stretches, then goes back to reading - not "Breakfast At Tiffany's" however, but an issue of Cracked magazine. JERRY: I'm sorry about the gift, I didn't know about your condition. 12 min read, 22 Sep 2003 – It's over! CARL: You know, someday...we're going to get enough people in the Supreme Court to change that law. KRAMER (in a chef's hat and apron): See, anybody can do this. His television program finishes, and he turns off the TV. You know, I'm excited about this, Jerry. ELAINE: Oh yeah, all the time, all the time...although, recently I've been thinking about this friend of mine. How could you be friends with those two? KRAMER: Alright, what did you do to Poppie? I am not a comedy writer, nor do I play one on.....Read the script free on Booksie. Look what you did! Breakfast At Tiffany's? JERRY: Well, what is it then?! POPPIE: That's not a pizza. He also co-wrote the screenplays for the films The Cat in the Hat, EuroTrip and The Dictator. Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David’s classic sitcom Seinfeld has often been termed a “show about nothing,” partly because it gave itself that label in the meta storyline in which Jerry and George pitched a TV show to NBC. POPPIE: Hello! So, on this issue there is no debate! ELAINE: Oh, let me get the door for you. How could you be friends with those two? My new sofa! You got grape juice all over our couch, you've ruined our couch! Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? Let's go. New scene - George at home, preparing to read "Breakfast At Tiffany's.". Okay, well uh...(to Jerry and Kramer)...I'll see you chumps later. JERRY (frantic): Kramer, Kramer, what is this?! And the cook says you put him there. ELAINE (looking in the fridge): All I've got is grape juice. New scene - Jerry and George in a booth at the coffee shop. If you just give me my duck money, I'll be on my way. For fans of Jerry Seinfeld’s stand-up get your photo of him on stage with a mic in his hand. Written by Larry David. And what is his stand on abortion? ELAINE (looking in the fridge): All I've got is grape juice. KRAMER: Alright! 22 Sep 2003 – CARL: Well, I better get this couch back to Jerry's. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version JOE'S WIFE: Hi, baby. KRAMER: Well, you know, Poppie's over at my place. ELAINE: Paccino's? ELAINE: Well, I don't know. JERRY: Ah, I could've stayed home and ordered a pizza from Paccino's. Whatta ya think, Lainie? This is very flattering to the prospective customer, isn't it? Elaine gets an investigation started on the owner of the diner. It's all in the wrist. And what is his stand on abortion? “The Big Salad” is the second episode of Season Six, and the 88th overall. We give you the dough, the sauce, the cheese...you pound it, slap it, you flip it up into the air...you put your toppings on and you slide it into the oven! Jerry travels on first class while Elaine on coach. You should never order pizza from Paccino's. JERRY (comes out of the bedroom with Poppie's money): Here you go. GEORGE (irritated): This is very hard to follow with all the talking. POPPIE: Use your wrist! KRAMER: It's a pizza place where you make your own pie! Pretty good date, huh? KRAMER: But that's the idea, you make your own pie. ELAINE: Oh, goody. She likes Audrey Hepburn very much. ELAINE: So, he puts the couch down, and just as he's about to leave he says, "Do you date moving men?". ELAINE: Well, your mother must be very proud of you. ELAINE (offended): Well...Poppie. Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now!Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more!. ELAINE: Because he, well...he's just so good-looking. CARL: Not much! ELAINE (to Poppie): And I am not coming back! 91 "The Couch" (Original air date 27 Oct 1994). Seinfeld S06E22 - The Diplomat's Club - After his quick trip to Ithaca, Jerry plans to meet a super model at an airport club, but his assistant, Katie, makes the trip a nightmare. KRAMER: I don't know! I'm gonna make the first test pizza at the restaurant. GEORGE: You might want to try it...makes the movie more enjoyable, that's all. This was the 12th episode for the sixth season. IT IS! Oh, Elaine! KRAMER: But that's the idea, you make your own pie. Sounds good, huh? KRAMER: Oh, they got good ducks there, huh? He's real, he's honest, he's unpretentious...oh, I'm really lucky! I've never had food ordered in advance before. JERRY (sees a white couch by the wall): Oh, what about this one? POPPIE: They owe me for those ducks. Anyway, he's about to leave, he wants the duck money. JERRY: I don't care if it comes out, I can't sit on that anymore! GEORGE: Well, it's about Holly Go-Lightly. Nuts! ELAINE: Oh, goody. ELAINE (looks at Jerry and smears lipstick across her face): What? I think differently. CARL (hands Jerry an invoice): Sign here. This was the sixth episode for the sixth season. Written by Larry David and directed by Andy Ackerman, it originally aired on September 29, 1994. ELAINE: No, I forgot. JERRY: Poppie, I was just curious...where do you stand on the abortion issue? They were flown in from Newfoundland. Poppie peed on my sofa!! POPPIE (opening the gift basket): What's this? You know? CARL: I'm sorry you feel that way, Elaine. CLERK: I don't think so. You're wiped!'. I've got my nuts here... REMY: Look! ELAINE (in a southern accent): Ooh, I can't wait to get me a fella and make mah own pie! Jerry, so good to see you again! You know, if it's not about sports, I find it very hard to concentrate. 1 Plot 2 Quotes 3 Notes About Nothing 3.1 Guest Stars After watching a science-fiction B movie, Jerry goes to bed, but wakes up in the middle of the night laughing and writing down a joke for his stand-up comedy act. JERRY: You got a regular 'Manhattan Project' going on over there. WOMAN AT NEXT TABLE (to her date): I heard that. New scene - George at a video store counter. KRAMER: Alright! You got grape juice all over our couch, you've ruined our couch! In the episode, Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer hold a contest to determine who can go for the longest time without masturbating. WOMAN AT NEXT TABLE (to her date): I heard that. Would you mind if he watched Breakfast At Tiffany's with us? This is one of those Seinfeld episodes that disguises just how callous Jerry is being towards a woman through script innuendo that you have to imagine was insisted on by the network. Phone: 443.604.2521 . With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. Poppie peed on my new sofa! ELAINE: Well, they're real men, Jerry. New scene - Jerry and Elaine at Poppie's Restaurant. JERRY: What made you resurrect that old idea? I mean, Fred. Seinfeld Scripts The Understudy. You're still recuperating. CARL: Not much! I could go pick it up. Could I have a word? REMY (to Joe): Can we watch the movie now, Daddy? They're trying to kill Poppie?! Written by Larry David. Jerry Seinfeld Autographed Photos: These unique autographed photos depict one of your favorite comedians in a variety of places throughout his illustrious career.Get a signed photo of your favorite scene from Seinfeld or simply one of Jerry with his co-stars. New scene - Elaine climbs into the cab of Carl's moving van. JERRY (sarcastic): Yeah, you're right. 1 min read, gs: Jessica Hecht (Lindsay) Lois Nettleton (Mrs. Enright) Elina L�wensohn (Katya) Maurice Godin (Misha) James Sweeney (Aronson) David Blackwood (Beck) Phil Ramsey (Man in Car) Damian London (Party Guest) Ian Abercrombie (Mr. Pitt) George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on, gs: David James Elliott (Carl) Jessica Hecht (Marie) Reni Santoni (Poppie) David James Elliott (Carl) Robert Hooks (Joe Temple) Denise Dowse (Mother) Patton Oswalt (Clerk) Diana Theodore (Remy) Mari Weiss (Woman #1) Tamar Cooper (Woman #2) Beverly C. Brown (Woman #3) Jeris Lee Poindexter, See all 179 posts Joe ): what are you Joe Temple the doctor thinks it 's not about sports I! Of time - I brought it up in the kitchen of the pilot, elaine sneaks in disguised and Crazy. This is very hard to follow with all the talking n't it real men, jerry TV Reviews Directed Andy. 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